smilethatmakesyoumelt, TH, tomhiddleston, hiddlestoner

Heart that hides...

Maybe you feel you had to.

Maybe you realized it wasn’t worth it.

Maybe you found a way to temporarily forget.

Don’t worry about me.

I’ll be fine.

I may hurt right now, but I’ll be fine.

Didn’t I always do?

Even if I feel like breaking

Even if I feel like crying

Even if I feel like screaming

Didn’t I always smile?

So go on and leave.

I’ll wave you off with a smile.

And I promise, you’ll never have to see me cry.

smilethatmakesyoumelt, TH, tomhiddleston, hiddlestoner

Even hope kills...

There’s a reason why I hate to hope. Hoping runs the risk of things not going the way you want and being let down.

I hate being let down. It makes me feel gullible, stupid, and useless.

People may say that it’s shallow but I don’t care.

It’s my feelings.

No one controls them.

And sadly, no one cares.

smilethatmakesyoumelt, TH, tomhiddleston, hiddlestoner

Back to beta reading!

I've been doing beta reading since I was 16 under different names and for different authors. I stopped a few years back as I became too busy with college and after that, working. And then I stumbled over a request for a long term beta and my previous liking to it came back. So yeah, I'm trying it again.

For those who doesn't know what a beta reader is, in the simplest terms, a beta reader is a non-professional reader who reads the raw material of an author and gives their feedback on it. A beta reader can also give suggestions and help the author stay on the path that they want the story to flow.

Beta reading is a huge deal for me as it involves huge trust between parties. An author is practically handing you their prized piece done through a lot of hard work and effort. Hence, in the past, current or the future, I want to thank the authors who entrusted to me their work and believed in my skills. 

I salute the authors and other beta readers out there. Keep up the good work guys!

smilethatmakesyoumelt, TH, tomhiddleston, hiddlestoner

Manga Review

I’ve recently started reading manga again and I remembered that I used to do reviews of manga I read. After thinking about it, I decided to start doing reviews for manga again.
By the way, the manga I read are mostly yaoi or shounen ai. It might have some shounen and shoujo but I don’t think they’ll be a lot.
It’s not going to be a regular thing as my way of making reviews is tiring as it is segmented, and it includes the plot (writing out the plot is a long process, you know!) so it will contain spoilers as well.
My first on the list is my most recent good read which is Komatta Toki ni wa Hoshi ni Kike. I already have the draft and it’s almost complete except for the plot. See? Told you plot kills me. 😅
Anyway, I’ll do my best to finish it by Friday before our company outing.
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smilethatmakesyoumelt, TH, tomhiddleston, hiddlestoner

Confirmed 'Hiddlestoner'

I recently changed my display picture to Tom Hiddleston. (obviously!)

Yes, I am a Hiddlestoner.

I didn't pay that much attention to him before aside from him being the actor behind Loki's character in the MCU*.  

(For those who have read my bio, you guys know that I'm a mythology fan and Loki happens to be one of my most favorite god/goddess out there.)

Next thing I knew, he was dating Taylor Swift. I like Taylor's songs guys, but I don't like the girl herself. Then a few months after, they broke up. So you might be thinking, why the hell are you a Hiddlestoner if you didn't care about him?

Keywords, guys: before and didn't. Both in the past.

I started noticing him again in the Avengers movie. Hey, who wouldn't? He's an amazing actor with that sexy Brit accent, he sings well, dances great, speaks effin' French and a few other languages, and he plays one of my favorite characters like it was nothing to boot!

And then there's his smile.

That freaking, heart-melting, sweet-as-honey smile that makes you wanna go "aaawww" then squish him to death. The heck, Tom?! Why you gotta go and smile like that? XD

So, yeah. I'm a freakin' Hiddlestoner and proud of it. Though at this point, I still don't know what the hell he saw in Taylor Swift. Not bashing Tay-Tay but they're like magnets connecting from the same pole (not saying that they're the same, only that they should be repelling each other). Like, really. 

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how to train your dragon, alpha, dragon, toothless

To love or not to love? (aka random #04)

Hey folks! Hope you're all having a good day. I'm currently at work and got nothing to do when this idea came into my head. 

I always heard people saying that love is the best feeling in the world. And yet when their relationship falls apart, they then say that it would have been better for them not to have fallen in love.

So which is which?

Alfred Lord Tennyson said 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

But is it, really?

I have no particular opinion on this as I have yet to experience the so-called "joys of falling in love". Not surprising really, if you consider my personality. But say I look at it not from a romantic love perspective and instead see it through another (e.g. familial), then I will share my thoughts. Here it is:

Most of us have already experienced the loss of a loved one. It could be a parent, a grandparent, a sibling, a child, a partner, a best friend... The grief from that loss can be extremely crippling to some, leading to lost of drive and will to live. Someone that your very soul has bonded to...suddenly gone, hence why people would rather forget or wish that they've never made those connections at all.

And yet, in spite all this, we all continue to make connections and form bonds with others. Why? Does it mean that the pain is fleeting? Does it mean we forget?

Of course not. What we do is "adapt". We "move on". 

Adapting for me is a very important coping mechanism of humans. Adapting to your new lot in life is accepting that things have changed. But change  doesn't have to mean something bad. It could mean that something has ended but it doesn't erase what you've experienced or felt.

"Moving on" doesn't sound too good to others especially when it comes to loss of a loved one. Most believe that moving on is a betrayal to what you've shared with that person.  Instead of this, maybe we should try looking at moving on as a way for us to experience more of what life can offer on behalf of that person who cannot do so anymore. 

That said, my final thoughts would be that it's still better to have loved. To have felt that wonderful feeling and know that it is reciprocated. So my best advice is to take your time. You may feel right now that falling in love was the worst decision you have ever made, but like it or not, you have memories to show for it. And memories are never gone. They are in your mind, heart, and soul. Use those memories as lessons and as your crutch to stand up, smile, move forward, and love again.

how to train your dragon, alpha, dragon, toothless

Apathy is strength

A lot of people say that hate is the opposite of love.
In my opinion, it is not.


Because to hate means you still have enough feelings to be affected. Enough to be hurt. Enough to be angry.

When you love someone you give importance to that person and all things related to them, including the emotions you feel.

That’s why you hurt. Why you’re angry. Why you’re sad. Because you’ve invested emotions on them and they were important.

Then in that case, the opposite of love is apathy. To change caring to not caring at all. If you don’t care, then the hurt or anger will not be able to affect you. Why be hurt or mad at someone/something that you don’t care about in the first place?

You don’t have to waste your time and effort on insignificant things or people around you. Be strong enough to let go of those emotions you have so that they don’t have any hold on you. Grab your freedom with both hands, stand tall with your head up high, and everyone else can go to h*ll or p*ss off.

how to train your dragon, alpha, dragon, toothless

Tech support? (aka random #02)

I just recently accepted a job offer to be a technical support for one of the top gadget/device brand on the planet nowadays. I left my mind-numbing job as an HR advisor because hey, why not? And because my new workplace is closer to home plus the pay’s higher (so sue me! 😋)

So that’s one of the reasons why I’m not able to finish yet the short story I posted. It’s been years since I’ve experienced providing technical support and I’m both proud and scared of it. Proud because I cannot believe that after 8 years (more or less) I still know the basic, important things to technical support, and scared because I know how paranoid of a bitch I become when it comes to nitpicking details.

I’ve just finished training last week and I’m freaking out because of the metrics that I have to start meeting.

Funny thing, though. I’m actually a user of one of the devices that I support. But right now, I can’t seem to resolve the issue I’m having with it in spite of the training we’ve had. 😋

Lesson for those who are planning to be a BPO employee: learn as much as you can while on training but be sure to open your minds for other possibilities when you hit production/operations floor/site. Why? Because no amount of training will prepare you from the actual concerns that you will receive. Just keep calm, get all the information you need, place the call on hold if you need time to organise your thoughts, then holler for support if it’s really something that you can’t find the answer to or resolve. 😉